Thought's on God

Turn it all around.

Destiny is found.

Continuum is the way.

Ask?

Question to your day.

Let yourself look back on your life.

Let yourself look forward to your life.

Don’t let others define your reality.

Know your story.

Inventory.

Don’t use force uncessarily.

Heart.

Forgiveness.

Home is worth finding from within.

Expansion.

Begin.

See your part in the whole.

Let yourself be led by your own breath.

Listen.

Rest.

Return to the place of feeling it the most.

Freedom.

Responsibility.

That there is a this after a that.

La la la la….

Effects on others.

Broaden your perspective to be inclusive.

The answer isn’t always a relationship.

People, places and things.

Obliterate.

Sovereignty.

Collective.

Hope.

Light.

Love.

One.

Christmas Light'24

It’s not a crime to not be loved by you.

Here, have a side of emotional abuse on your night roost.

You’ve got a bright light, lady.

Gotta see in the dark.

Solar star is polar car.

Living is Leading.

Awareness beyond the square-ness.

Try, to believe as I grieve.

There is always a reprieve.

Thank God for my sobriety.

It’s a personal choice.

Know your voice.

Your writing tells you what you’re needing to know.

The best fishing lodge, ever.

Want to judge me?

Catherine Zeta Victoria.

Do your light.

Focus on the aura.

Reality.

Trance.

Polarity.

World keep turning.

Sane world.

Different order.

Don’t get involved where you don’t get evolved.

Be open to learning.

Be truthful if you’re returning.

Drop it a a thought if it’s not what you want.

Re-frame.

Reclaim.

Loyalty to your name.

Haven’t seen you around.

No accountablity, for you old man.

Merry Christmas from a misogynist and a racist.

Btw, I’m reporting a man at work who hurt me.

Time’s up.

Thanks.

Paul. You’re not innocent.

Jesus Lives.

Paul. You’re not innocent.

Saves Lives.

Merry Christmas.

Blessings & Light.

I don’t go w out.

If I do, I go within.

Get to begin.

Time Queen

June 9, 2017. Involuntarily, on the night of Babcia’s death.

Unfortunates. Hurt me. They are born that way, they are not at fault.

Autonomy, is for everybody.

Codependency in my peer group, is unflattering.

Joy-thief.

Time Queen.

Gratitude.

Tiger, tiger.

I met Uma Thurman once.

Hostessing at the Pointe Restaurant at the Wickanninsh Inn.

Use your illusion.

Source.

One.

Free.

Energy.

Begin.

Many people, many pages.

Interception.

Deliver.

Unity.

Incorrect?

Spy vs. Spy.

Discrimination is not a good sensation.

Degradation.

Change what you are going for and you get what you want.

Perception.

Claim it all to receive your best story.

Never miss what is remiss.

I survived a horrific traffic crash w my husband aka Paul’s Oriental Express.

No harm. Lot’s of foul.

Pls clean up your side of the street.

Love my own Place, Lack of Grace & Need my Mace

To get some credence, give a revival.

Safety dance, men w out hats.

Lawyer w out values, lawyer w out borders.

Pop goes the world. Pop goes his mom.

Like I care about your about your inappropriate life.

Get a Chinese, if you pls. Her name is not Susan.

Don’t rape Victoria.

It’s your intellect, or lack of.

Paranoia.

Sorry you don’t respect facts as well as a clinical depression.

You’re kind of threat to society.

That is my truth, you’re kind of obtuse.

Paternalism, misrepresented.

No responsiblity, no accountablity, shaddy.

How dare you judge a princess?

You have -i-s-m.

Watch the denial in your face.

Your mother’s lace.

2x Men I Know Who Prefer to Hurt Me: Both a Like in Non-Dignity

Leave me alone, if you hate my throne.

No paranoia till Brooklyn.

Terrorism till ten.

I grew up going to 9111 Williams Road, Richmond, B.C.

So unintelligent to try to hurt a woman in private, unwarranted.

Breaking my rights in a hotel basement office & sophisticated bohemian apartment.

Try not to take out your mother’s ‘shove’ on a real life Wonder Woman.

White Dove.

That you like female immature adults who are dressed in old-world or Asian doll clothes is not pretty.

Try respecting femininity, go find a Journey.

Reverance, no right to judge a woman.

You’re attracted too? I’m not deserving of any judgment.

You’re getting pretty hectic.

Bricky are heavy.

Try, a program of discpline, and recovery, and providing.

Sorry, you’re illogical + weak men.

Blessings.

Stop Blaming a Butterfly (part 11): Narcissitic abuse; Cut it Loose

What is not the pollution?

What is the solution?

A feeling.

Feeling is a healing.

Try it on for size, be the prize.

Narcisstic abuse isn’t pretty, it isn’t as pretty as we make it look.

Takes a lot of strength, effort, dispcline, willpower and courage to overcome destruction & intentional mental harm to a woman.

Face the fear, these men that do that are not straight, and if you get raped, it means a low-form ‘female’ is easier for that man to manipulate.

It’s stemmed from an abusive childhood, a rejection of fatherhood, allegedly and laziness.

Mother’s raised “raised them wrong.”

Compassion to you.

Reverence, try that.

“Hyper on two.”

Stop Blaming Butterflies (part 10): Hotel "Called" Me: I met 2x Men on the Same Night going to Yoga

I like it better this way, seeing it in a new way.

So sorry, your healing is met in hurting another being.

By the way, I wasn’t asking.

Receiving.

Going to a Yoga, on October 12, 2022’s night.

Clandestiny, at the same four star property.

Follow your heart.

Watch your narc as to not let ‘sex will’ run apart.

In my opionion a men’s 12 step program of sobriety, would benefit an ex-heroin junkie, and an ‘alochol-free’, so-called sober man.

Took advantage of me, I gave you a lesson.

Blessed be.

Stop Blaming Butterflies (part 9) : The Lawyer & The Law (of Attraction)

The devil isn’t always a foe.

It’s the devil you don’t know, you may want to bestow.

I fought the “lawyer” and the law, won.

It isn’t a crime to idealize a timeless, time.

Yet, for a lawyer to play, 288 w a dangerous she-mind is a perilous climb.

Gleave, long descent. Google it. “She got my name.”

Stepdad. My ex-husband is the best.

No man came. Not true, insane.

Murray Sholty, represent me as my rape attorney.

See what time, brings.

Are you that full of yourself, f* face? …pls don’t oppress me, Tofino is fair to impress me.

I moved at 19, your next door girlie.

Stop Blaming Butterflies (part 8): Remedy, gently.

Don’t offshoot to a newt.

Perchance to dream.

Lawyer’s w out borders.

Cruisin’ for a brusin’.

Don’t be afraid of life’s unfolding movie.

The Corona awakening is always groovy.

Get high on energy, it is a remedy.

What awoke, is the Spirit.

Get better at being yourself.

A gaslighter wants you in fear, just say, “no thanks, I’m in the clear.”

Try addressing your denial and pls just stop talking.

Proceed w Truth & Light.

Never let a f* face own a space, retrace to your own place.

That’s not how you throw a party, Paul! That’s not a paperback writer.

I had to play a Beatles record backwards to see you, laaaater…

Jail, death, and instutitions.

World wide web, it’s all one place.

Weapon of choice, why not. Voice.

Go gently.

Stop Blaming Butterfiles (part 7): Workplace Sexual Violence's Unsilence's

Narcissitic abuse, is a huge missue. It’s about being given a fake dose of something, not anything. Forgive, yourself. Party non. Party on.

I know what joy is, it’s beating the Devil.

I’m not lying. Does he not understand mood rings? The Real Thing.

It’s not the people, it’s the places & the things.

It’s all you! Those that did not give it, can not take it away.

Keep your own car, running.

Arcade Fire, Montreal.

Forevermore.

Pls know, a good man can drive in the snow.

Worship, the Stars.

Gets more bee’s w honesty.

Noticing, not judging.

He just stole, a man’s wife. Put her in danger of her, life.

Man came to fight, right.

Got a risk, doged a knife.

Paul. You have no right to try to take my life.

Workplace sexual violence can lead to Death.

Ode to Ocean: Love Where I Live

Stay until something changes.

I took a cold water plunge at Ross Bay, by the cemetary in my neighbourhood of Fairfiled in Victoria, B.C. into the Pacific Ocean. I feel refreshed and energized by a new vibration.

Inspired by rituals, I’m grateful I can see the merrits of “too much of a good thing.” Where I was previously, withholding from doing my favorite things, everyday, I am now not.

Clinical depression can present in various forms, thus I put energy towards overcoming my limiting beliefs. Acceptance of my true reality, is key.

Vitamin D from the Sun is so enticing. I sat on the shore, tonight and forgave all my fears away.

Willingness is where it all begins.

Humility, is how to shift that piece of the picture. Honestly, it’s about knowing your rights.

What can I do? I engage, and I am grateful to whom it may concern.

Self-bondage, released. To the echos of the ocean to the point that I am free, I repeat quietly, “I am powerless over others. My life had become unmanageble.” Twelve & Twelve.

In sobriety, I know myself now to crave a wave of otherwise, and not unlikely. Support by virtue of the elements such as the Pacific Ocean on Vancouver Island is a healing entirely.

Let me know a knowing so that I can always know a knowing.

I’m grateful to share my words.

It wasn’t always that way, and I thank the stars for shining their Light.

Gaia.

Stay Bright.

Stop Blaming Butterflies (Part 6): Dream Out of E-v-i-l to Free People

What part of ‘rapist,’ do you not get? I’d appreciate, some accountability. Asap, co-operate. Pls, just be honest.

You like your mother’s touch so much, P.H., what next? Lie to an innocent younger white woman at work just so she’d watch your deviant sexuality, w/ a shrill orientalized infantized “woman”. Indecency, true reality. I now have an ex-husband who’s not unaware of you.

I’m up w people.

Don’t ever expect any validationn from a empty gas station.

Which way did the witch go?

Stop expecting to get home safe, from a drunk driver. Pls take an other route, on foot or a carriage. Path of Thought. Integrity. Respond to your own Magic Wand.

Self-care, prioritization isn’t selfish, it’s a Life of Death.

No expecations of false God’s. No expectations, forgive. Rap God’s get to be. Move bitch. Get out tha way.

Obsession is an opportunity to radically attune the Now. Drop, down, roll a new one around.

“Me, I’m from "Michigan.” It’s the Chili’s.

Journey I’m not 30, just us?

Get your validation from the rigiht equation. Me, myself, and I. Earth, Elation. Joy, collective.

Vibration.

It make no sense, sweetie. Below the line, he’s not all there.

Stop the *martrydom.

What have you done for me, lately? I get a feeling tha feeling, you’re not on my side, Paul…? Not a boob man….How’s Manitoba?…Lukas Graham…60’ something year’s old, you make me so sad. Sorry, I didn’t defend myself sooner. Happy Birthday, go on, get those ‘good years…’ stop the martrydom. I’m married, where’s your intellect? Thank f* for sobriety. Observations, feelings, non-bias, experience, education, the law, and following your Heart.

Radical autonomy, stay in non-attachment to solve a situation.

Dont’t be afraid to try at your True Potential.

Even if you’re on a boat w bad bears, to just be the better one.

Life should not be defined by strife, yet by Life.

Let it be Light!

Change your lens. Change your Vision.

Focus on the right things to get a Healthy condition.

Stop serving addicition. Beat it at its own affliction.

Dream out of it.

If the Spirit Moves You...Everyday I See my Dream: On Addiction to Action

Do your “someday,” solutions; E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y.

I religioulsy opt to do somethings “everyday” vs. as if the spirit moves you… as a non-negotiable, in my life. The priorities of my self-care, which I subscribe to that are subject to get a back seat if I don’t create the time & commitment for myself as a discpline, and thus require an undestanding of why…

Personal development as a way of life, thus is a tool to overcome addiction. I’m an addict w a daily effort of sobriety off drugs & alcohol, and as such I’m aware of always seeking out something; escapes to ease my mind. Stress of the real world is a non-stop in life, and all its trappings. Committing to what feels good in not using quick fixes, for example drugs, toxic people or sef-harmful practices does involves effort, and endurance, and is something that takes time. Steadfast feelings of self-fullfillment w out drugs are what I’m working on now.

To avoid self-harmful choices, I choose to be all in with things that are good for me. Where, I previously, reserved that for a right-timing. My revelation is that I can keep my groovy lifestyle, 24-7 as I afford it with my employment & as well as an ABUNDANCE state of mind. It’s as simple as focusing on the P-O-S-I-T-I-V-E. By exercising, the power of CHOICE. To have a ‘scracity” mind is to be unkind. Manage the mind to stay out of self-pity, doubt, fear or guilt of other’s matyrdom. Manage the mind to reward yourself w the merrits of your successes. Successes can be seen as a mental high point to know indelibly, and not to be forgotten about in a down part of one’s day. Not in false pride. Rather, towards your true authenticity. Let the losses of others not be for your sanctity. Hold an awareness of your own inventory. To drop negativity, to provide an amends if required & to uplift yourself to higher consciousness.

Truth in my life, as I reflect in honesty, and thus I reclaim my story. I see where I was given stress, so that I evolve my time to restoration. Knowing the true priority, in recovery is in self-comparison and not lost in someone else’s opinion of me, which is not real.

I become my own benchmark.

My rituals:

1. Morning Beverage. (Water w apple cider vinegar or greens or collagen).

2. Morning Affirmations.

3. Morning Yoga.

4. Morning Journalling.

5. Nutrition.

6. Meeting: Alcoholics Annonymous. Narcotics Annonymous. 12-step program.

7. Jog.

8. Sauna. Steam. Swim.

9. Ocean Swim.

10. Cardio & Weights. (Gym Membership).

11. Essential Oils.

12. Sage Burning.

13. Evening Candle.

14. Evening Reading.

15. Evening Yoga.

16. Evening Green Tea.

17. Sleep.

The more I give to myself, the less I take from myelf. Where would I be w out you? It is me you’re looking for…or am I just a journey, onto my own Learning. Where would be w out our enemies..? Giving out that crap to rise above, also, what about the rest of us?? Freedom of addiction is to Listen.

Star Journey, 2020: Onwards, Corona, a Crown Awakening

Five years ago, a long long time from now I was in a different elemet all together. Why, is there a new energy today? I am in the same place of living at my apartment in Victoria, B.C. yet despite a consistent physcial home, it appears to embody a different energetic quadrant.

Watch out for a one day, in May, when all the lights come on today.

Live in the Highest Vibration.

The force was with me when I committed myself to a psychiatric hospital on the eve of May 5, 2020 w symptoms of mania, psychosis, and depression to the effect I required a safe place.

I’ve overcome so much in my addiction since that time, and I’m grateful for aquiring tools of right-thought to beat the mania & depression of narcissitic abuse, and clincal insomnia which could have taken my life in my bipolar. Exhaustion.

I re-committed to a practice of reading affirmations in the morning each day, and I joined a homegroup in a program of alcoholics anonymous, as well as drop in meetings at narcotics anonymous. Recitation & repitation of words in the morning is how I re-trained my mind to maintain a positive state. The mystical is a world that calls, if spoken.

Living in a state of wellbeing now in the mind is a result from experiencing extreme states, otherwise. To know those states, which required a hospitalization in a quiet part of the city, in Victoria, B.C. at the Royal Jubilee is to transcend to greater depths of awareness.

In case no told you, “You’re doing a good job.” I went in as voluntary, and it freed me. To accept that a birth onto planet earth is a required course, given its reception. Yet the time you take it is voluntary, is to know that all acts on Life are met w perception. To be on Earth as a voluntary. Act you’re meant to be here. To respect that w adherence to the Light & the Law.

Santuacy, is where your mind is at peace.

The Story of Non-Hurricane: Cult Leaders are Bad

Life can be this good? I washed away all the negativity, from my aura to realized it was not mine. People’s slime, ended up on my time. My empathy was available, not bought and sold over the table. People w inner unresolved problems they are avoiding like this take advantage of anyone with a good soul and in my case, wasn’t sober as of yet or otherwise, disempowered by clinical depression & environmental circumstances.

Cult leaders come in non-title at works roles, manager etc…as well…rather they rally into social dynmanics, also at work at times. In my expericence, Paul Howells and Shawn MacAdams are cult leaders of our island. They think they’re attractive, when honestly, they are not only not photogenic, on a whole they are not attractive people. They are not high functioning. They are bullying and harrassing. They are ignorant as they are not only not willing to learn, they are not willing to listen. They bully me, and others w their toxic asian partners. They mock earnesty, as they feel the “system” failed them some way. I find it so offensive, as I’m the eldest daughter of a crown corporation co-founder who also was a saw mill worker once, and as both men have met my Dad it is very offensive that Paul and Shawn are both problem causers and not problem solvers in times of my own crisis.

Cult leaders in my experience, show up in a work environment and typically, yet not exclusively the service industry. They are using work as a place for personal gain. Characteristics:

1. Denial

2. FOMO

3. Not sincere

4. Untreated mental health and addiction issues.

5. Doesn’t respect Human Rights, and forces their will on other’s thus oppressing other’s prohibitive grounds. For example: Womanhood. Clinical Depression ( not to be blamed seeing as I’m a detox leader at the same hospital I was treated at in town for said mental health condition). Family Status ( ex-wife). Religion (Yoga teacher for the corprate employement place).

6. Ignorance.

7. Their perceprion is off and they reward the wrong things.

8. They make demands of others. They blame people at work for their bad lives.

9. They are unfair. They try to isolate “me” from others on a team.

10. Unwilling to try the right way. Legal, moral, ethical and loving kindess.

Cult leaders at work prey on vulnerbale people w lies, manipulation and a false sense of something. I’ve learned to not overlook red flags such as uglinessess, self-care issues, and poverty. Despite my inclusivity, which is non-discriminatory, I get taken adavantage to the point that my values are violated by these types of rude people. That they can be masculine or feminine is true, and it’s easy to get lost in false vanity, such as a title role at work or of a K’ following. I appreciate that at the end of the day my values are always there for me, however, until recently, I would get hurt quite a lot online, and at work by cult leader’s.

Leadership is inclusive for me, and non-aggrandizing. Style, personal efforts and acheivements are welcome wonders. It’s important to stay true, and not let flaterrery of false promises, to bad practices be a factor. I’m grateful that as a co-chair on a committee of health and saftey, and as a yoga teacher in world I can stand up for peace as a normal part of my life.

*for the Melissa’s…the racialized version of a female cult leader at work is called a “savage”, always looking for a freeby from the white man or from the painted face, as represented by the patriarchal presence. Lazy, that type of cultural minority is always looking to manipulate a “white” male, who is gay enough to go w it even if already a semi-kind man to a true woman.

“He who protests the loudest.” Racist liars P & S who are guilty of hate crimes, enabling savages who hurt a crown daughter and are ignorant & arrogant.

Stop Blaming Butterflies (part 5)

Perception is more than what one buy’s in a drugstore.

No one is around to hear you scream.

Their longing is in their wronging.

Steal my sunshine.

I am fortunate fool. Lebanese rule.

Vainglory.

Snake’s not in suits.

Indelible.

Daydream believer, what you, truly a High achiever? It’s up to You how many times, you choose to cross the River.

Warm friend’s, book end’s.

Write for the Right.

Science, and proress.

Clean up the beach.

Smiley, smile.

Strong fawn. Protect other ppl from untoward wrong’s.

The Time is Now. Who’s time is it? Jessica Rabit. Thurston Howells…Framed by a bandit.

$5.99 are you out of your mind? “Love you all.” Theif of the ball. Ignorance, P.H. you are innocent and neither is that odd lady. Night’s on occassion, I am offended by your outrageous entitlement to hurt me, in my sanctuary.