Temperance, in the tarot, typically signifies a state of moderation, stabilization or balance. And in my case, self-reliance.

Sobriety, at 450 days, brought me to back to this as a reality.

The calmness, where there had been uneasiness, now came a notch more naturally. Fears fell by the wayside, as I faced life as I was without the once-favoured façade of alcohol. At this time of my life, temperance framed my eyes.

The changes I noticed were subtle, yet remarkable. I reflected upon the times where I’ve historically self-soothed with a beloved beverage I'd carefully choose. And, realizing I was searching for the same kind of freedom I’d now feel in sobriety, just in a different capacity. Searching for a certain kind of high, the high arguably chased in drinking alcohol, (my primary dependency) or in a drug of choice is similar to a high chased in recovery. That’s been my own pink cloud, I’m witnessing. Additionally, staying present with a creative path of practice(s). A certain sustainability.

Escape, yet into the everyday. Aromatherapy’s oils, music and mantra as medicine. Isn’t that why we seek with whatever we do to drop down deeply and/or elevate up the frequency- whatever the method, whatever the reasoning. To feel something within reach + out beyond our own entirety.

This phase of sobriety for me looked a lot different than the distinctions I’d notice in the first round. This year and so on stabilized my entire being. The practices sustain my path. I was keeping up with my cardio, and increasing my km. Meditating ritualistically, for 20 minutes on the timer, altered my mind’s hemisphere, organically. The quality of my chosen partnership changed, actually it was always evolving. Surpassing my own mental sort of self-harm, I’d started reciting a morning mantra as a practice where re-programming and re-patterning my thoughts significantly shifted my ability to stay well, holistically.

Sobriety taught me to self-value, when valuing myself before had been a struggle.

So much changed in my life since my divorce, and as painful as it’s been I’m self-initiating into becoming, an up-level of myself. After the initial impact, now into a few years of the afterlife of “that” life.

Eventually, I’d realize this pain was worthy of wonder.

The ease within which these practices presented themselves perplexed me.

But it also pleased me, with the peace of mind I'm realizing.

And, I am also so empowered by the ability to sit with all of the pain I’m releasing.

My suggestion for maintaining self-sustaining practices to serve one’s best-self is this solely: patience. Work with time as an ally, and let go of the hold on the aspired outcome. Daily effort is required, but so is allowance of each everyday ebb and flow, as the hours unfold. Self-kindness, self-forgiveness is the baby step by baby step back to the baseline stasis. Wellness over the long term is a process. And patience, an act of self-compassion as a primary to all practices.